THE GEEK IS COMING (#5): A GAME OF THRONES COMMENTARY (8x01 - Winterfell)

"You want a whore, buy one. You want a Queen, earn her." 

Cersei Lannister

Game of Thrones 8x01 Promo

SPOILERS, OBVI.

• God. It's finally here. 

• I think I'm going to cry. Or pee myself. Or both. 

• Naaanaaa nananana nananana nananaaaaa. This song gets me every fucking time. 

• The King and Queen arriving in Winterfell, cool parallel with season 1. But this time they're cooler and have a ginormous entourage. 

• The look Arya gives to Jon is the definition of LOVE. Say something to him! 

• Arya and the Hound. The reunion. 

• Gendry + Arya 4eva

• Tyrion and Varys: The Comedy Hour. Gotta love 'em.

• Sooooo... I'm guessing they don't adore Daenerys in the north.

• Nobody told these people about the dragons or what? 

• Remembering Viserion. Crying.

• Bran is still dead inside I see. Cute.

• Sansa not fangirling over Daenerys is everything. Lol.

• Bran being all business. Relax, dude.

• Someone give Lord Umber a hug. And a cookie. 

• Lyanna Mormont fucking shit up as always. Yasss girl.

• Sansa's stank face hating on Daenerys. She's sooo over her.

• "What do dragons eat, anyway?" "Whatever they want." Lol.

• "The last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. A miserable affair." "It had its moments." Sansa being badass is the only Sansa we need.

• Sansa is like "bitch, please", at the thought of Cersei helping them. She's the only smart cookie around here.

• "I used to think you were the cleverest man alive." And bye.

• "How did you sneak up on me?" "How did you survive a knife through the heart" Complicated lives these two have had.

• Finally, the hug of all hugs. I'm not crying, you're crying.

• "Once or twice." The liiiiieeees.

• Yara! You're still alive!

• "But first I'm gonna fuck the Queen." I don't think so and also ew.

• Who's that dude? I don't remember anything.

• Cersei loving elephants is cute as fuck.

• "You want a whore, buy one. You want a Queen, earn her." Yaaaasss Queeeeen.

• Execute the asswhole. Please.

• Nooooooo Cersei! Don't do hiiiiim!

• Bronn with some whores. No surprises here. 

• "How does he sleep with no eyelids?" Asking the important questions.

• Bronn: "That fucking family." A Game of Thrones summary.

• Karma is a bitch. And so is Cersei.

• Everybody wants elephants, everybody.

• Gurl, your taste in men, though.

• "I'm going to put a prince in your belly." Ew, really.

• Theeeoooon! Go to Winterfell and complete your redemption story!

• "What is dead may never die, but kill the bastards anyway." 

• If someone hurts Davos I'm gonna be piiiiiissed.

• Daenerys and Jon being cute and shit. 

• And Davos, Tyrion and Varys presiding the "We ship Dany and Jon really hard Fan Club".

• Jon trying to ride a dragon is me trying to ride my life.

• Emilia Clarke's eyebrows need their own spinoff.

• Jon, girls and caves, a love story.

• The look on Drogon's face: "Don't you dare fucking my mommy."

• "You left me here to die." "I robbed you first." Another necessary spinoff.

• Arya and Gendry being cute and shy and awkward kills me and then gives me life.

• "I always knew you were just another rich girl." "You don’t know any other rich girls." The flirtation!!!!

• Jon is so in luuurveee with Dany. 

• "Soooo I killed your family... Sorry?" 

• Bran chilling and looking creepy the entirety of the episode. 

• "So your girlfriend is a murderous bitch and stuff."

• And that's how you decide to tell him the most important thing in his life? Tact, dude. 

• "You gave up your crown to save your people. Would she do the same?" Don't think so.

• I don't think Jon is realizing he is having sexy times with her aunt yet. 

• What are Tormund and friends doing now? I don't remember anything. 

• "I've always had blue eyes!" Tormund, I've missed you. 

• Poor kid! That's sad and creepy and all kinds of wrong. 

• The eyes! The eyes! 

• Fucking shit. That scream almost gave me a heart attack. 

• The Walking Dead: Middle Ages

• Who Dat? Melissandre, Jaime, random new character, random old character? 

• Jaime and Bran. Oops. Well... That's awkward.