THE GEEK IS COMING (#7): A GAME OF THRONES COMMENTARY (8x03 - The Long Night)

"Not today."

Arya Stark

Game of Thrones 8x03 Promo

SPOILERS, OBVI.

(I know. Really late. Sorry.)

• I'm not ready. 

• 'The Long Night'. It surely is gonna be long. 

• Sam has the same 'oh shit' look on his face as we do. 

• Bran doesn't give a flying fuck, as per usual. 

• Why are most of the main characters in first line of the battle? Go back! Don't you dare die on us! 

• Fuck. Shit. Nope. Ghost, what the hell are you doing there? Go to sleep.

• Melissandreeeeee Queeeeen! 

• 'Let me light your swords really quick.'

• Valar Morghulis, bitches! 

• I'm too excited, I need to relax. 

• I still ship Davos and Melissadre, by the way. 

• Melissadre being all mysterious and confusing, as we like her. Missed you, girl. 

• The Dothraki are going for it. Maybe you should stay put, you crazy enormous savages.

• Give fire to men and they go all macho. Sigh. 

• So... Jon and Dany are chilling on top of a mountain... Go down to fight beside your army... Motherfuc... 

• Oh crap. Where are all the lights going? Oh crap. 

• Jorah? You ok? Which colour are his eyes? Which fucking colour?!

• Oh well, I guess the Dothraki race is kinda dead now. 

• My heart is about to pop and it's only been 15 min. This is going swell! 

• That's a fuckload of zombies. 

• And now... Dragons. God, I love this show. 

• "Stick them with the pointy end." Yass.

• There are like three dudes protecting Bran. Lol. 

• Fucking fast editing. WTF is going on?

• Nooooo Eeeeedd! And then there was one. 

• So nice of the Unsullied to protect the retreat. Who says that they don't have balls? 

• 'Really? Lighting the trenches with arrows? Bitch, please.' by Melissandre.

• Faster would be better. (Browncoats still remember)

• Wight barbeque is what's for dinner.

• Someone should have thought of bringing Monopoly or something to the crypts. These people look bored.

• "I'm going to go now." I mean, were you even here?

• Oh oh. Is he sacrificing wights to put out the fire?

• Yep he is.

• Aaaand meanwhile? Everybody inside is just lounging about, apparently. 

• Now that the undead dudes were distracted, was a pretty good time to attack them with those flamming arrows. Do I have to teach these Winterfellas the art of war? My God.

• 'World War Z', anyone?

• Is someone cool dying? I don't know! Even the characters don't know!

• Jaime and Brienne fighting together like good Bffs. So sweet.

• Arya saving asses everywhere. Fuck, she's so cool.

• I mean, I love Davos as much as the next sane person, but he's being pretty useless... There's still room in the crypts and someone has to bring the Monopoly...

• Big brother Clegane going to rescue little sister Arya makes me believe in unicorns and angels.

• Here comes the fucking zombie giant. Of course.

• Damn you, you grotesque deceased giant. Don't ever touch Lyanna Mormont again, or I swear to God...

• Fuck my life. Not Lyanna.  Even when she was broken she was more complete than most of us.

• She died a hero, destroying men's brains as she did when she was alive.

• Is really weird and distressing seeing Arya being afraid. Don't like it. Stop it.

• "Swift as a deer. Quiet as a shadow. Quick as a snake. Calm as still water." Syrio taught her well.

• The tension! My heart is racing. Is this how I die? 

• This is becoming a scary movie and I'm here for it. 

• Arya, the Hound and Beric running for their dear lives, with a bunch of zombies wanting to eat their faces. 

• Demi Lovato said it best: "If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack." 

• Yes, this is definitely how I die. And it's fine by me.

• Beric Dondarrion sacrificing himself to save Arya and serving his purpose. Sad times.

• "And blue eyes..." (Honestly, at the moment I didn't realize 100% what it meant, I was just trying not to pass out.) 

• "What do we say to the God of Death?" "Not today, Satan, not today." 

• With all honestly, I had completely forgotten about the existence of the cannon fodder of the woods.

• Bran is important or whatever. 

• I know 'the night is dark and full of terrors' but I don't see shit. What dragon is doing what?

• Not dracarys, girl. 

• Fan of the Night King just strolling around the battlefield like he doesn't have a care in the world.

• He's a chill dude in general. Pun totally intended. 

• Nononononononononono. NO.

• Don' t want no Lyanna wight. Don't want no Edd wight. Don't want no scrub.

• Here they come, The White Walkers, looking like a cool Icelandic rock band kinda deal. 

• The dead are rising in the fucking crypt. Who knew? 

• What in the icy hell are doing those horrid zombies? Attacking my baby Drogon? Fuck no. 

• Maybe Daenerys should have taken some self-defense classes... Just sayin'... 

• Jon: 'Fuck Sam, fuck everybody, I gotta save my kooky three eyed raven of a brother.' 

• Are you fucking for real, Theon? Not only you just have a couple of suckers fighting beside you, but you also have a shortage of arrows? Are you new? Come on. 

• Well, not so boring anymore in the crypts. 

• Shit! Ned isn't going to revive all headless, right? That's too fucked up, right? RIGHT? 

• When Tyrion kisses Sansa's hand... Jesus Christ. A moment of real kindness in the middle of the Apocalypse. 

• I'm not crying. You're crying. 

• I can't with this music, these images, these emotions. Fuck's sake. 

• Some more characters we love are going to die and it fucking sucks. 

• Damn, I'm getting sad for realsies.

• Calm the fuck down, bitch. Lol. 

• "Theon. You're a good man. Thank you." And he sacrifices himself, being the hero he always wanted to be.

• I guess there's not calming down today. Oh, well. 

• Fuckity fucking fuck of all fucks. Arya. 

• What the... 

• WHAT

• Ice zombies exploding everywhere.

• Arya has killed the Night King and I think I've just orgasmed. 

• And... Happiness is over. 

• Jorah falls, protecting his Khaleesi, like he's always done. 

• And Drogon is every pet in the world, comforting his human when she needs it. 

• Nope. There's no way I'm surviving through the night. 

• Wait, it's not over! We can suffer a little bit more. 

• Melissandre has fulfilled her destiny at last, so she turns to dust. 

• I guess my Davos and Melissandre ship has totally sinked. Or has gone with the wind. 'Cause she's dust. Get it? GET IT?

• Don't judge me, I'm hurting.

• Today six beloved characters and some frosty bitches have died. 

• Don't worry, there are three episodes left, they can still kill some more. Great. 

• Thank you for an hour and a half of complete anxiety, I really appreciate it. 

• I was definitely not ready.